Much Ado About Everything Tragic
by Lilly Tagloft
Summary: An alternate ending to the well-known comedy. Filled with violent ends and conniving plans of the bastard, Don Jon. Written for a ninth grade English project with everyday speech.


**Much Ado About Everything Tragic**

Lilly Tagloft  
>Pre-AP English 9<br>Block 3  
>Tragedy vs. Comedy<p>

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><p>Leonato stood there in front of the gathering crowd that consisted some of the members of the visiting party. Don Pedro and his crew were staying for as long as it took for them to prepare for their next expedition and at the first it was fun enough. The people of Messina got to witness the exchange of Benedick and Beatrice's sharp tongues as well as Claudio's enamored heart grow founder for Hero, the mighty Leonato's daughter and only heir. Yet, due to Don Pedro's malicious bastard of a brother things have gone horribly amok and Hero is claimed to be dead and for quite a few days at this point.<p>

Antonio brings out his niece wearing an eloquent disguise, although only known to him and his tight group of family and the friar. She wore a ravishing white dress; intricate designs were running along the sides, making an inch of the length of her body noticeable and the rest of the dress was made of a pure white substances that had the little flowers spiraling along the torso that matched the ones sewn onto the hem. She might not have the perfect figure to pull this off to leave everyone breathless but it did an adequate job when she stepped out into the open scene and got many gasps and some low whistles. Even though they couldn't see her angelic features, due to the mask that covered her face, her voluptuous dark hair curled outward and in deep, luscious loops. They seemed to catch the light in a way that reflected and the scene she was trying to set – pure and simplistic with a touch of raw beauty.

Hero smiled behind her mask when she saw Claudio in the very front of the crowd looking at her eagerly. His anxiety was felt by her, and her heart sped up a bit when her dark brown eyes made a sweet connection to his bright, hazel orbs. There was a look of concern and wonderment within those eyes. Hero wasn't sure what to make of that until he and Leonato began to exchange simple words about her.

"Why then, she's mine. Sweet, let me see your face," Claudio spoke in earnest. The green specks in his eyes flared as they made contact once again and Hero felt her heart throb erratically against her rib cage. She was about to lift for her mask when she heard her father say in his calming and yet ear-catching voice, "No, that you shall not, till you take her hand before this friar and swear to marry her." Hero could not see her father's face, fore her eyes were locked with Claudio's, but she could tell just from the infliction of his voice that his motives were concrete and there wasn't any way around it.

"Give me your hand: before this holy friar, I am your husband, if you like me," Claudio said as he walked towards the masked girl. Hero ducked her head a bit, looking dreamily at his out stretched left hand. Her chest filled with a great feeling pressure that uplifted her spirits and gave her enough courage to say, "And when I lived, I was your other wife." She then lifted her hands to the soft material that made up her mask and slowly revealed herself by carefully removing it from her face and untangling it from her hair. As she did so she continued with, "And when you loved, you were my other husband."

The crowd gasped along with Claudio. His eyes were as round as saucers and he spoke with little breath in his voice, as though he were taken aback, "Another Hero!"

Hero continued her little speech even once the mask was off. "Nothing certainer: One Hero died defiled, but I do live, and surely as I live, I am a maid."

"The former Hero! Hero that is dead!" Don Pedro called out, obviously slow on the concept that has just permeated his skull.

Leonato, not wanting Don Pedro to spoil the mood, spoke to him, "She died, my lord, but whiles her slander lived."

Friar Francis chimed in a moment later, "All this amazement can I qualify: When after that the holy rites are ended, I'll tell you largely of fair Hero's death: Meantime let wonder seem familiar, and to the chapel let us presently."

While all of the happiness is lying in Messina, a half a town over Don Jon, Don Pedro's bastard half-brother, is huddling in a street corner. The officials have been after him for some very long hours and they sent the dogs only moments before. Thankfully, he had been walking around enough that it would take them a while to catch his trail if the officials gave them something with his scent on it. Don Jon looked down at his ruddy attire. He thought how much he despised his brother who seemed to pull off everything off, even this outfit, better than himself. Such emotions have always plagued Don Jon and this was his weekend to make his brother feel as he has. So far things could certainly be going better.

He heard a howl in the distance and his heart leapt within it's mangled cage. He was afraid of failure and even more afraid of death being forced upon him. Don Jon imagined what the officials had in store for him and cringed immediately afterward. Pools of red, eery blood came to mind. He could envision materials such as metal latched onto wooden pegs falling and cutting him up so that he was nothing more than a shapeless pile of remains; bones and meats that are being fed to the dogs as a reward for finding him so quickly. These thoughts sent a shiver down his spine and he was willing to give up and just cry... He did so in the dank corner for another thirty minutes.

Then something changed within his character. The deep loathing he has for his brother began to spin and combine within the catacombs of his chest. This hatred built up such a force that he burst, standing up to his full height and letting out a victorious cry. Then cry bounced off the building walls and echoed throughout the allies. If the dogs heard, he didn't care. Don Jon was now officially on a mission to destroy his brother and this time he would not fail.

About a half an hour later Don Jon was heading back towards Messina. It wouldn't be a long walk, but since he was carrying the disguise of a blind beggar he knew once he crossed the border between the neighboring cities that he would have to slow a bit just to make his cover conceivable. Don Jon walked briskly through the trees and was about to arrive at the grand estate. No one would have recognized him if their life depended on it. He had given his other set of clothes, the ones that were identical to the rest of the crew's, up for money and then used the money to pay a homeless man out of his clothes. Usually Don Jon isn't so giving, but he thought he might be something somewhat good so the Gods wouldn't smite him before he carried out his deed.

He grew closer and closer to the city lining and he began to work on his hobble. There were no darkened glasses in the market place so Don Jon has taken it upon him self to learn how to walk with his eyes closed and not run in to anything. Granted, within the first ten minutes of attempting this activity he had ran into three trees and tripped over a ground shrub, but it added some credibility to his disguise. There were scratches on his once smooth face and dirt now covered parts of his body. He most certainly looked like a debacle compared to your run of the mill Messina citizen.

Soon enough, he was at the gate and entered without a problem. It was around three in the afternoon once he crossed the line and he knew it wouldn't take him too terribly long to get to Leonato's estate subsequently. He meandered down the winding road to the house and only tripped once on a loose stick that had never before been in that very location. A proud feeling swelled in his chest, he was gaining confidence in his plan as he traveled on and was quite anxious to get the more difficult part over with. The tricky thing was that he had to track down the lovely Hero or Beatrice to start it all off and after that it would be like a domino effect like it was the first time.

Don Jon slipped behind a tree and opened his eyes to peer about. He did not see much of anyone in the court yard. There were a few servants milling around; taking a much needed ten minute break, and there were a few others wandering about. Don Jon's eyes followed to the sight of Beatrice, Leonato's niece. She was a bit of a maverick when it comes to most things based up on society; she never found it suiting to go and find true love when she could just lounge about the house, living a free and happy lifestyle. The fair lady knew of such fates and sought to often avoid them and yet, here she was in the courtyard with a ring on his finger and a smile on her face.

Don Jon stopped ogling her by forcibly closing his eyes. He trusted his direction to make it all the way over to the lovely Beatrice. He tried to remember what she smelled of and nothing came to mind; he never paid much attention to her because of his blinding hatred for his brother. Caught up in thought about his brother again, Don Jon angrily hobbled whichever way he had set to. He grumbled something and was about to keep slurring when all of a sudden he bumped into a strong mass. He appeared to be vapid on the ground; the tattered clothes lay about him in a heap and his eyes were closed tightly in fear of being hit or beaten in case he was recognized or in case the person he ran into was a misguided brute who took his anger out on suffering peasants like the ones he is dressed as.

He lay there, crippled, as he felt the person hovering over him's eyes burn down in through his clothing and straight at his very soul. The proud that was once there had rescinded and was no replaced with a hollow feeling of fear and something that he couldn't describe. Don Jon then heard the thick, sharp tongue of Beatrice admonish him for being so clumsy. She went on for many minutes saying how she never felt so insulted and how he should be more careful when he walks about and how he shouldn't walk into ladies with reputations such as she.

"Pardon me, malady," Don Jon said once her rant died down. "Does thee thinketh a fair maiden as you spare an elder person such as myself. My sight has left me and I do apologize for coming to burden you. Does doth forgive me?"

Beatrice's hard expression on her face quickly turned dubious. She was not prescient of his condition and surely felt bad for the thick scolding she had given him moments before.

"Yea, I should be the one giving you an apology. I was not aware of thy condition and I can only ask what I can do to repent thee."

"All I seek is the location of the noble Claudio," Don Jon answered with a mystery in his voice that left Beatrice in earnest to help him.

"Why sir! Claudio is over in the next town. He and Hero are betrothed now and are celebrating in the night," Beatrice answered.

"Thank you milady, that's all I require of your service. Good day," Don Jon spoke kindly and handed her a few pieces of coin before turning away. He then left and began the trek back across the courtyard to his tree that he was first behind. On his way there he could hear the clanking of Signor Benedick's sword against his leg coming closer and closer. To set him off Don Jon said something rather catty about lady Beatrice because he knew how they are enamored with each other. He then heard the clanking stop, but that didn't deter him from making it safely to the tree with a stoic expression on his face. Don Jon could hear the quickened rustle of Benedick's shoes and laughed lightly as he turned away from the demagogues, knowing that things certainly weren't going to end well.

In the next town over, Claudio was getting ready in the bathroom before he and Hero began to celebrate their marriage. He combed over his hair and made sure he didn't look too terribly bad despite the long travel and the annoying habit of Hero wanting to run her fingers through his hair every ten minutes on the journey. It puffed out more than it usually does and he looked grievously at his reflection. Claudio did not care as to what he looked like in the eyes of Hero, but he did care how he looked in his own light. From the moment the supposed Hero look off her mask Claudio knew he was being played as a fool. There was no possibly way the woman with him right now is the lovely and fair Hero. She may look like a perfect replication to the one he once loved, but Claudio figured it was a ploy schemed by Leonato and Antonio to get this intruder out of their house and out into the world to seek havoc and the destruction of man.

Claudio wouldn't take the challenge sitting down! He had decided once he exchanged vows with her before the friar that he was to slaughter his new wife during the night and claim that someone snuck in whilst they were sleeping, which would in turn give him the perfect alibi.

Hero peered through the open door and slunk in cautiously, wrapping her arms around his waist. She hugged herself to his backside and nuzzled her cheek into his back. Claudio appeared to coo at her when really he just wanted her out of his room and to be gone from his life.

"Dearest Hero, would doth mind waiting for me on thy bed?" Claudio asked her sweetly.

"Yea, I will my love," Hero said before placing a kiss to his bare back and escaping the room quietly. Claudio let out an evasive sigh, he could only hold onto this charade for so much longer. He looked at the mirror one last time and then head out toward Hero and their love-making bed. She was lying on it on her back, looking with desire at Claudio as he drew closer to her. He slipped off his boots, but kept his britches on, as he slid onto the bed and hovered over his lover. Her brown eyes were so soul-catching that he almost couldn't bring himself to do the act that he was planning on doing. But once he pressed his lips to hers and those eery eyes shut, Claudio could think clearly and knew what he had to do.

The two began to let their passion take flight. Claudio and Hero rolled around in the bed, letting a rhythmic creak permeate the silent night. The moans and groans slipped out often and more than once a passionate scream pierced the thick night air. After an hour of this Claudio couldn't take any more. At this point Hero was arching her back and was in a perfect position that he could scoop his pants off the floor with a foot and continue in their activities simultaneously. Once doing so, he distracted her from the rustle of the thick fabric by bringing her closer to her breaking point. She screamed out his name and he could take no more of it. He pulled his dagger out of the lining of the pants and raised it high in the air. He was about to plunge it through her heart when all of a sudden something hit him straight in the back and all in his mind went black...

Claudio fell forward onto the screaming Hero and the momentum caused the dagger to go straight through her skull and pierce part of her brain. Blood quickly flew out of the hole that had appeared and she quickly became desperate and confused at the current situation. Hero screamed loudly and shrilly once again before she was silenced by the beggar that removed the sharp dagger from her head and quickly placed it in her chest – right where her heart lies.

A few days later Don Jon was sitting on the town corner when he heard two men of the market talk about the current events. A customer was telling a cart vender about how two noblemen were smothered in their sleep in Messina. He told him how it was because of a fiery maiden named Beatrice who was planned to wed one of them the other day. The cart vender asked what happened. The customer replied how he never heard the exact details, but that there was an argument and their marriage had quickly been annulled afterward.

The cart vender asked who the other unfortunate fellow was and the customer replied how he heard it was a prince who went by the name of Pedres or something along those lines. Then the customer went along to explain how Pedres's nobleman Cluadio had also been killed the previous night with his betrothed. He described how they laid in a crumpled heap upon each other when the servant of the tenant came in to clean the sheets from the night before. When news relayed to the girl's father he had passed away with grief, or so the customer heard. The cart vender asked if anything similar happened and the customer replied how he hasn't heard anything, but he'll be sure to keep a look out.

They bid good day to each other and never noticed how Don Jon sat only five feet away, with the biggest smile on his face like the cat who just ate the family canary.

"This time... I did not fail."

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><p><strong>(Post Note: The underlined words were SAT vocab we had to include. No real significance otherwise.)<strong>


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